


Not Until My Whole Life is Done, Will I Ever Leave You

by KHart



Series: storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide (but I love you, until the end of time) [2]
Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, F/F, but i'm a sucker for happy endings, heavy heavy angst, so there's a rainbow after the storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-19 23:29:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KHart/pseuds/KHart
Summary: It's been a few days since Charlotte returned to Smackdown—a few days since she was put onto the title card for Summerslam—and though Becky has reassured her that she doesn't blame her for taking some of the spotlight, Charlotte's guilt still finds a way to eat at her.It eventually manifests itself in the form of a nightmare.---Or: Charlotte has a nightmare about the end of her and Becky, and Becky reassures her that there isn't one in sight.





	Not Until My Whole Life is Done, Will I Ever Leave You

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr is flairfatale, if you want to lowkey cry about the Charlynch breakup that's headed our way with me.

_"You're not what's best for me anymore."_

A gentle whimper is the first sound to break out into the darkness.

_"You're too selfish. You take all the opportunities for yourself."_

Then it's an unsettled shifting against the mattress that indicates something's wrong.

_"Being associated with you only casts a shadow over my accomplishments, and I'm sick of it."_

A deep crease appears between Charlotte's eyebrows next. A frown pulls at her lips.

_"Sometimes I wish I'd never even met you. Maybe then I wouldn't be so screwed over any time you're in the picture."_

A choked sort of sob catches against the insides of Charlotte's chest, and it shakes her whole body.

Becky starts to stir behind her.

_"Can you ever let me have anything? I mean, do you even love me or care?"_

"Stop," Charlotte breathes out, almost too quietly to hear but enough noise to bring more awareness to Becky's mind. 

She rolls over finally, blinking in the darkness at the shape of Charlotte's back facing her.

"Charlie?" she whispers, reaching out to place her hand on the tense muscles of the woman's shoulders. "Babe?"

Charlotte jerks a little underneath her touch, and Becky sits up straighter.

 _"It's just like last time, when you had to hog all of the glory for yourself and stab me in the back. You never changed. You never will. I can't believe I ever thought I could forgive you."_  

Another sob rises in Charlotte's throat, and this time it makes more of an impact against the silence of the air around them. 

Becky rises up and out of the bed, shivering some against the coolness of the room as she makes her way over to Charlotte's side so that she can kneel just before her. 

"Charlotte," she calls softly, lifting her hands to frame the woman's face. "Honey? Wake up for me, okay? It's just a dream."

_"I hope you get what you want, and I hope you like having it alone."_

"Please," comes Charlotte's quiet plea, her voice cracking delicately. "'M sorry."

Becky smooths her thumbs over the skin of Charlotte's cheekbones.

"Come on, love," she says. "It's just a dream. You're okay."

Charlotte's face stays caught in its turmoil. 

_"Goodbye, Charlotte."_

Becky watches near helplessly as a tear suddenly leaks out from between Charlotte's closed eyelids.

"Charlotte, sweetheart," she whispers, sounding a little strained. "Please wake up. You're okay. You're safe."

Charlotte's eyebrows shift upwards a little. Becky continues to swipe her thumbs soothingly across the woman's cheeks.

A few seconds pass.

"Becks..." Charlotte mumbles. "Don' go."

"I'm right here, Charlie," Becky promises gently. "Open your eyes for me, babe. I'm right here. You're okay."

Charlotte's expression morphs multiple times in the span of the next thirty seconds until finally, _finally_ , she seems to pull herself more from her nightmare.

Her eyelids sort of force themselves apart, but even once Becky's able to see the green of her lover's irises, they don't seem to see _her_ just yet.

So, she lets Charlotte blink out the residual images of her mind, and she uses her right hand to rub soothing circles into the small of Charlotte's back, where her sleep shirt has ridden up. 

Their eyes meet again, and this time it feels like two conscious stares, so Becky knows that Charlotte's finally come back to her. 

"Hey," she greets, gentle and hushed, bringing her hand up to Charlotte's side. 

"Becks..." Charlotte says again, sounding like she thinks she might still be dreaming, like she doesn't trust what she sees.

"Yeah, honey," Becky responds with a nod. "I'm right here. It was just a dream."

Charlotte's eyebrows furrow again, her chin wobbles and sends a new ripple of emotion across the features of her face.

"I'm sorry," she says suddenly. "For waking you. I didn't—I didn't know that—."

_That it wasn't real._

"That I was making noise."

"It's okay," Becky reassures. "It's not your fault." She tilts her head. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Charlotte shakes her head almost instantly.

"Okay. Do you want me to let you up so you can go wash your face?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

So, Becky moves away, and Charlotte pushes herself up and brings her legs over the edge of the bed. She sits for a few seconds, her hair hanging close around her face and blocking her from Becky's sight once more, before actually standing. 

“I’m okay,” she mutters then, bringing a warm hand up to touch Becky’s arm lightly. “Go back to sleep, Becks.” 

She stumbles a little as she begins to walk away, her tiredness still taking precedence over her coordination, but once she catches her balance she just walks silently and without further incident to the bathroom. She switches the light on, and Becky has to blink away from its brightness until the door clicks shut and leaves her stood alone in the darkness of their room. 

She sighs and simply resolves herself to waiting on the edge of the bed for Charlotte to come back out.

Her foot taps sporadically against the floor.

Some minutes tick by, and her entire body starts to feel like it's humming with a worried energy. 

Because it's been a few days since she and Charlotte were reunited, since Charlotte made her return to Smackdown, and for the majority of their time together, Becky has noticed how Charlotte's been acting differently.

She's been acting distant and distracted.

She's been almost flinching away from any show of affection that Becky's displayed towards her. She's been pulling back when she goes to reach for Becky on instinct. She's been stopping her smiles halfway whenever she's about to laugh at something Becky's done or said.

She's honestly been acting like she'd rather be anywhere _but_ with Becky, and, truthfully, it’s all just been incredibly disheartening, because not only had Becky missed her girlfriend and hoped to be back to normal with her, but also because on the first night, right after the show, she had thought they'd resolved the issue that Charlotte had said was bothering her. When Charlotte had looked at her tearfully and apologized for stealing her spotlight, for stealing her moment, for practically waltzing in and taking a spot in a match that was supposed to be Becky's return to the throne.

She had thought Charlotte believed her when she'd said that she didn't blame her...

Because she doesn't, because she _can't,_ blame her. 

Not when Charlotte doesn't book herself. Not when it was something that she has no control over. 

So, yeah, it sucks. It makes Becky feel like she's a fill-in champion. It makes Becky feel like she was only allowed to have a push when Charlotte wasn't around to be everyone's favorite. It makes Becky feel like no matter how hard she works, she'll never be good enough.

But that isn't _Charlotte's_ _fault,_ and, in fact, if it was _up_ to Charlotte, Becky knows that the woman would've had herself lose the match against Carmella. She knows that she probably wouldn't have even _made_ the match. 

She would've had herself standing on the side, supporting her, being with her every step of the way, and it would've been perfect.

But it's not up to Charlotte, and it's not up to Becky, so Becky has no one to be upset with but the creative and executive teams at WWE... 

And it's only Charlotte who hasn't seemed to accept that as the truth yet. 

Because sometimes she's so infuriatingly self-sacrificial, and she has a habit of shouldering the blame for things that aren't her fault, a tendency to let all of it weigh her down.

Becky's been familiar with it for years now. And, so far, she's always known exactly what to do and what to say to help Charlotte realize that not everything can be fixed by her own hands, that not everything is a consequence of her own actions or inactions. 

But she had always hoped that she would never be the source for that blame Charlotte places on herself. She had always hoped that Charlotte would never feel guilty over anything that had to do with her. Because she's not sure what she's supposed to do and say now.

She supposes, though, that, with the way that WWE has always treated them both, respectively, it was only a matter of time.

She wipes her hand across her face and sighs heavily before standing and making her way over to the bathroom door, which is still shut tightly, still _shutting her out_.

She swallows thickly.

"Charlotte?" she knocks. "Are you okay?"

She presses her ear in close to the frame and hears a light sniffle seep through to where she stands.

"Love?"

There's a quiet cough.

"I'm fine, Becky," comes Charlotte's muffled voice, sounding far too raw to be believable. "Go back to sleep."

"Now, you know I'm not gonna do that, lass. Open up. Please."

Becky starts to turn the handle, but when she goes to push the door open it doesn't budge. 

Charlotte's voice is a lot closer when she speaks this time.

"Becks," she says, weak and wavering. "Please, _please_ , just go to bed. I'll be there in a minute. I promise."

"Charlotte, please let me open the door," Becky pleads right into the crack of the doorframe. "You're worrying me."

She presses her temple into one of the ridges of the wood, strains to hear any semblance of movement from the other side.

A car alarm goes off in the distance, and it makes her jump. Her pressure lets up, and then she waits for fifteen excruciating seconds before the sound of footsteps receding further back into the bathroom sends just a little bit of relief through her veins.

"I'm coming in, okay?"

She doesn't get a verbal response this time, but she didn't expect one, so, she just opens the door finally.

Her eyes once again have to blink against the stark contrast of luminescence presented to her, but as soon as her vision is back to relative normality, she instantly hates what she sees.

"Oh, Char," she whispers sympathetically, stepping fully into the room and walking to where the woman is stood with her knuckles against the countertop and her shoulders rounded in.

Her head is hung low again, and as Becky takes another step closer, the rough sound of Charlotte's sob cuts through her like glass.

"Baby."

Charlotte brings one of her hands up to cover her mouth, to try to muffle her crying. Becky presses her hip in close to the edge of the sink, gazing at the curtain of blonde hair that's keeping Charlotte's face hidden. 

“Look at me, love.” 

She reaches out and moves some of Charlotte's hair behind her ear, just enough to see the outline of her jaw and how it trembles; she traces her thumb across it. 

Charlotte inhales another gasping breath, and Becky feels tears of her own prick at the corners of her eyes. 

"Charlotte, _talk to me_. What's the matter?"

Charlotte sniffs. She brings her trembling fingers up to wipe at the wetness under her eyes.

"Nothing," she answers through a thick swallow, turning her head away and effectively removing Becky's hand from her face. "It was just a nightmare. It's nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing if it's made you so upset, lass." Charlotte turns completely away from her, so that she's looking at her back again. "Can you _please_ just talk to me?"

Charlotte shakes her head, almost to herself.

Becky feels frustration bubble underneath her skin. She clenches and unclenches her fists.

"Charlotte Flair, _stop_ pushing me away."

Charlotte's shoulders shake.

The room goes silent, as Becky once again waits for a response. Their breathing is the only sound to be heard, aside from the beating of their pulses within their ears and their hearts against their chests. 

Time stretches on for what seems like forever.

Until Charlotte quietly says, "You left," and Becky instinctively takes a step forward, as if to immediately disprove the thought.

"That was the dream. You left, and I couldn't stop you."

Becky has a feeling that that isn't all. There's something more, something deeper and somehow worse than the thought of either one of them leaving the other alone bringing her girlfriend pain.

She reaches out for Charlotte but stops herself at the last second.

"Babe, I'm right here. Look at me, _please_."

Charlotte hesitates, Becky can see it in the tension of her muscles, in how they ripple too stiffly, but after a second, she does finally pivot on her heel.

Becky's almost relieved until she sees that the woman's eyes are closed.

She sighs.

"Please, open your eyes, Charlotte. Let me reassure you that I'm not going anywhere."

Becky's ability to resist the need to touch Charlotte finally crumbles away, and she brings her hands back up to Charlotte's cheeks.

"Baby."

Her voice cracks, and the effect it has on Charlotte is too strong for her to ignore any longer.

Her green eyes blink open and meet Becky's own, tearfully and terribly torn apart.

Becky's grip on her face strengthens ever so slightly.

"Charlie, I'm not _going anywhere_. I'm not leaving you. I could never."

Charlotte's chin wobbles once more, just as it did earlier. 

"I know," she replies, her voice wavering, a tear falling. "But you almost _should_."

Becky feels like the wind gets knocked out of her.

She nearly staggers back.

"W-What?"

Charlotte's eyebrows crease together more deeply, her face twists with more pain.

"Becks, being with me has only made life harder for you. All of your storylines and feuds have had to do with _me_ since the Superstar Shakeup. Every chance you get, they make me outshine you. They arrange for you to be screwed over time after time after time, and you deserve _better_ than that."

 _Better than me,_ lingers in the air.

Becky feels like she might throw up.

"If we weren't so closely affiliated with one another, you might finally be able to grab ahold of and _keep_ the championship and the spotlight for yourself, and you _deserve to_. You deserve that and so much more, and I just—I don't know if me being in the picture allows for that."

Charlotte's words come out earnestly, honestly, like she's been thinking them for a while. Becky hates every single one of them. 

"And I—I know you don't blame me for any of it, but I also don't want you to end up _resenting me_ for any of it either. So, I'd rather... I'd rather you live without me and remember me with love than have you stay with me and end up resenting me for standing in the way of your success, which you deserve to have more than anyone else in this business."

Becky's eyes flit between Charlotte's own almost frantically, almost pleading with her to stop breaking their owner's heart.

She opens her mouth to speak, but a sob catches against the back of her throat, and she almost chokes on it. She has to just breathe for a second.

"Charlotte," she finally manages to exhale, her throat still thick with pain. "I—." She stutters and searches for the right thing to say, just like she knew she'd have to. "I fucking _love you_ ," she eventually lands on. "More than anything and anyone else in this world." She shakes her head in disbelief. "You're the _love of my life._ I don't—I can't even _fathom_ what an existence without you would be like, and I don't _want to_." One of her own tears spills over the edge of her eyelashes. "You can't—You can't  _blame yourself_ for just existing in the same field of work as me. Not when neither one of us has any say over what sort of storyline we're given. All we can ever do is work with what we get, and you know that." 

She pulls away some, just to run her hands through her hair.

"It's true that we don't know if they would still be playing this angle if we weren't so open about our 'friendship.' If we weren't so publicly close. And, _absolutely_ , it does suck, and I deserve better." She steps closer again and reaches down to take both of Charlotte's hands in her own. "But do I regret working with you? _Being_ with you? _Living_ _my life with you?"_ She shakes her head again. "Absolutely not. Because no amount of championships or trophies will ever be as valuable as you." Another of Charlotte's tears falls, and Becky reaches up to wipe it away. "Charlotte, I could lose every match I ever compete in and still know that I won in choosing you, in having you choose me. So, please don't ever think that I could resent you for any of this bullshit they're putting me through, because _you're_ the one consistently good thing I've got going for me. And it's only you _leaving_ that would make me feel as though you let me down in any way."

She squeezes their entwined fingers together, looks at the way the shine in Charlotte's eyes has softened in its self-hatred, and smiles faintly. She brushes some stray strands of hair away from Charlotte's forehead before trailing her fingertips down the definition of her jaw. She brushes her thumb across Charlotte's bottom lip. 

"Okay?" she asks simply, cocking her head to the side a little.

Charlotte's throat bobs. That weight on her shoulders, on her chest, in her heart, seems to finally let up in its suffocation. Her body shudders with her next exhale.

"Yeah," she whispers, still sounding a little unsteady, but not nearly as broken. She nods as if she's still trying to convince herself and is almost there. "Okay."

Becky drops her hands away and opens her arms instead.

"Okay," she repeats quietly with a final nod. "C'mere."

The way that Charlotte immediately walks into her embrace and melts against her lets her know that everything is going to be okay.

Because everything else may suck, and their new storyline might be frustrating.

But they have each other, and that's all that matters.

So, Becky finally releases a sigh of relief. She hugs just as tightly as Charlotte is, as Charlotte always does. 

"I missed you, beautiful," she says gently, close to Charlotte's ear. 

The hold around her tightens.

"I missed you more," comes the soft reply. 

Becky hums, pulling back to meet Charlotte's gaze.

"I doubt that, but we can leave it for another time, yeah?" She leans in and presses an affectionate kiss to Charlotte's cheekbone, to the tip of her nose, to the edge of her mouth. "Are you ready to go back to sleep?"

Charlotte nods, the grin on her lips delicate and adoring. 

"Yeah, love. Lead the way."

Becky does, but she doesn't let go of Charlotte's hand for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Tumblr: flairfatale


End file.
